After having visited many blogs and websites recently, I can see where some people are making mistakes.

If you don’t want your blog to be popular, and don’t care how tasteless it is, then make it private, and only allow your own select group of fans/family to view it… and then ignore the rest of this post.

Otherwise… if you want your blog to be more popular, then don’t do any of the following:

9) Schizo- Blog has a topic, but you don’t stay on topic. OK, I admit it I’m as guilty as most bloggers with this. My computer blog sometimes has posts that have nothing to do with computers. But those posts are in the minority. And I aim to keep it that way. So should you.

8 ) Copycat- copying someone else’s content: also known as shooting yourself in the foot… and then shooting yourself in the other foot  . You quickly disappear off everyone’s radar, as most search engines will notice and punish appropriately. I only use copyscape to gloat over the poor suckers with too many guns and feet

7) Annoyingggg - music and/or videos that starts spontaneously. If you like the music, then make your blog private. Few people want to listen to your bad taste. I know few people would be interested in my heavy metal music.

6) Ad overload- too many adverts. Imagine you sit down to watch some TV… you find a show, but it splits the screen into 4  sections: 3 sections show bright, animated adverts, while a quarter of the screen actually displays the TV show. Would you watch the show? Probably not (maybe if its the superbowl, or world-cup soccer, or some other favorite).

5) Imitation - Copying the bigger blogs that make more money than you… This is similar to point 6), except you are trying to make money like the big boys. Remember: only the bigger blogs can get away with too many adverts… to some extent. You might find that by cutting down from 20 ads to 10, visitors are twice as likely to click on the 10 ads. People will only put up with ads if they really love the content (ie your blog is popular)

4) Anybody home? - Not updating your blog. Try to update at least once per week.

3) I wish nobody was home - You feel guilty about not updating your blog every week… but you don’t know what to write about… so you update your blog by apologising for not updating your blog. You know what they say: its better to keep your mouth shut, and have people think you’re an idiot… rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

2) Who am I? - Your blog doesn’t have a clear topic… you just write whatever comes into your head. You might find this hard to believe, but there are thousands of blogs like this out there, and millions of people trying to avoid them. Pick a hobby… anything! If you don’t have a hobby or anything you really feel strongly about, then please close down your blog (You’ll be doing the internet a favour).

1) Slowww- you have so many ads and trinkets (widgets), that your blog take 60 seconds to load. animations, calendars, large pictures. Cut out the clocks, calendars, world maps, FireFax download icons, and anything else that isn’t relevant. Almost nobody wants to know the weather/time in Upper Kumbukta West! Also try a cache plugin like “wp super cache” it can speed up a website significantly.

Posted by Computer Help as Hints, Humor, Rant, Technical, Tutorial at 1:21 PM EDT

5 Comments »

A new customer calls, saying he is trying to connect to the internet, but the disk is stuck in the drive.

When I get there, he points to the floppy drive and says he put the disk into the drive, but he can’t get it out…

I take a close look into the floppy drive (it has one of those spring-flap doors that keep the drive internals a bit less dusty… I eventually see that there is a small 8cm cd in the drive!

Every time I open the floppy door, it catches onto the bottom of the CD, so that I can’t get a good grip.

I end up delicately applying some brute force… and the CD emerged unscathed

I then place the CD where it belongs (in the CD drive) and setup a dialup internet connection (after some password problems… the CD software refused to accept passwords shorter than 6 characters, yet the ISP created an account with a 4 letter password…)

I install an antivirus, test the internet, setup and test the email account, and that’s the end of an interesting session of disk wrestling

Posted by Computer Help as Humor at 1:59 PM EDT

2 Comments »

Soon after I first created this blog, I also connected it to feedburner, and activated the “email subscription” option.

I figure some people would like to read my posts without having to remember to regularly visit my website, or muck around with feed readers, etc.

since then, I’ve had 2 people send me some very exasperated-sounding emails eg:

can u STOP sending me messiges ok  it is anoying !!!!!!!
thanku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Its probably someone playing a practical joke on them, as I cannot see how someone can go to the effort of subscribing to my email feed, and then not notice that each email has unsubscribe details within it. And given the infrequent nature of my posting (once every day or three), its nowhere near as annoying as some of the real spam emails.

Anyway I politely reply, saying that they should be able to unsubscribe themselves, but I’ve unsubscribed them anyway.

Posted by Computer Help as Hints, Humor, Musing at 1:58 PM EDT

2 Comments »

Maybe I’ve got a weird sense of humor, but I like changing the names that manufacturers give to cars into something more amusing.

For example:

• Ford Flagon (Falcon)
• Holden Commode (Commodore)
• Mitsubishi Magnum (Magna)
• Mitsubishi Prancer (Lancer)
• Audi Arse (RS4 and RS6)
• Break My Window (BMW)
• Daishitsu (Daihatsu)
• Ford F***Off (Focus)
• Ford Mundane (Mondeo)
• Hyundai Jerrycan (Terracan)
• Mazda Tributary (Tribute)
• Mitsubishi Outlandish (Outlander)
• Mitsibishi Veranda (Verada)
• Suzuki Ignite (Ignis)
• Toyota Avalanche (Avalon)
• Toyota Coronary (Corolla or Corona)
• Toyota Kludge (Kluger)
• Toyota Prior (Prius)
• Toyota Viagra (Vienta)
• Subaru Froster (Forester)

Does anyone have other similarly amusing names?

Posted by Computer Help as Humor at 1:49 PM EDT

10 Comments »

Here is a followup to my last cockroach story:

http://computer-aid.com.au/blog/2007/05/15/cockroaches-in-the-power-supply/

Customer calls, saying the power supply I installed about 7 weeks ago has failed…

I’ve got a pretty good idea why it failed, so I’m sure it won’t be a warranty replacement.

When I get there, I can see she (or someone else) had tried to fix the PC… loosely fitting side panels would no longer fit together nicely, the power supply has already been removed, and all the cables plugging into the motherboard had all been unplugged… as well as 4 screws securing the mobo to the case… luckily there were another 4 screws that were not removed.

And of course cockroaches.

Lots of them.

Lots and LOTS!

Last time, there were few inside the case (most were outside). But this time there was a nest in there.

I flip the case over and drop it onto the table (from a height of 1 or 2 cm), but few fall out…

Customer has no insect spray… so I can’t kill them off either.

Most are clustered around semi-enclosed spaces (like the small gap between the back of the parallel port, and a bank of capacitors about 1 cm away.

Anyway, I plug in a new power supply (just the 2 mobo connectors, to be sure it will start, as I don’t know if the PC has been damaged), and the PC fires up. Except it doesn’t boot, since the HDD has been unplugged. So far, so good.

I set about plugging in the HDD, CDROM, front usb. I come unstuck with the front memory card cable… the cables are not labeled, and its difficult to know where the plug goes (and I don’t really want to peek too closely at the mobo… many months ago, I discovered that some cockroaches could fly!… usually towards a flashlight I’m holding!)

I leave the unknown plugs, until I can get a mobo manual (and until the cockroaches are exterminated). I “adjust” the case, so that the panels will fit properly again, Check that windows xp starts correctly, them I’m outta there!

but I must return eventually

Posted by Computer Help as Humor, Technical at 1:54 PM EDT

1 Comment »